The Longest Goodbye

All she wanted was to go home.

We kept telling her that she was home with her daughters.

But she insisted that she was not.

So we just let her go Home.

To her Mother and to her Father.

Goodbye Mãe, say Hi to Pai 

We now know what Home meant to Mother

 and why she wanted to go there.

Home is the Comfort Zone of her childhood years.

And the

Feeling of Inner Peace.

I hope you found your way there safe and that you may now be resting in peace.

Mother's journey became shorter and shorter by the day as time went by after she became ill with Alzheimer's Disease, the silent killer that slowly robs memorable years from so many people. She was a strong woman, full of determination to live and make things work during her every day's activities. It was a long goodbye, suffering struggle that slowly progressed through the years.

A life of happy days and not so happy days; healthy days and not so healthy days.

Down the Memorable Lane; Up to another Memorable Lane.

A two-way lane that for our Mother became a one-way lane. 

I feel that I have been saying goodbye to my mother for the past 12 years. My father died in 2002 and you could see her deteriorating since then through the years.

All it remains now is memories.

I remember her telling me every time I visited to call first, as I just used to show up.

She knew slowly she may not remember who was knocking at the door.

After visiting, she would go to the porch and wave a long goodbye.

Until I moved closer, living upstairs from her and visiting every day.

The waving goodbyes turned into waving hi's.

                                                 A Story of Love, Strength, Determination.

                  A story not always written and read page by page, chapter by chapter.

                                         A story not always with the right book cover.

                         A story that had full written pages and plenty of blank pages,

                         ready for improvement, changes and a familiar introduction.

                           A story that it may have ended not remembering it too well. 

They celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in 2000 among close family.

It was a Fall wedding on October 14, 1950.

She loved all her four daughters and she knew that their love and support

was never too far away. Especially the amazing and unconditional love of her

two primary caretakers.

She knew all our names and could recognize us until almost the end.

She loved her grandkids and great grandkids

 She loved all her brothers and sisters. 

Prazeres who shared her birthday and Suzette.

They always lived closer to her and visited often for hours and hours,

talking about the good old days. 

Those moments were special to her as they provided nourishment for her soul.

She missed her sister Fernanda who still lives in Portugal.

She is now in Heaven with her brothers Jorge, Afonso and Zeca.

Precious moments with the people she loved the most.

                                            She loved to talk to Melissa

She loved to talk to Sydney

She was proud of her new family generation while teaching them about the older one.

You will be missed at Sarah's wedding. But we know you will be there spiritually watching all of us.

Her 1st granddaughter Paula was like her 5th daughter who she loved very much.

Paula was born on Labor Day, September 3, 1973  

Mother died on Labor Day, September 1, 2014

Labor Day will never be the same, but it will be a very Special Day. 

On Labor Day 1973 we celebrated the beginning of a new life.

On Labor Day 2014 we celebrated the beginning of a new eternal life.

Birth brings angels to the world, to someone's special home.

Death takes angels to heaven, to God's home.

More memories, vivid snapshots of Mother, that we hope can remain in our minds for a longtime to come. Hoping they can never be faded away.

Mãe,  

We will always remember and love you forever and ever. 

A long goodbye is better than no goodbye at all.

We just wished it didn't have to be with so much agony and suffering.

You will always be our Angel, watching over us.

Even though we were mentally prepared to let you go, we will feel lonely as time goes on.

But we know you would want us to appreciate every moment of life,

and we will, always with you in mind! ♥ 

We will miss you at Family Gatherings, Holidays and always.

Thank you so much for everything you have done for us all your life.

The sacrifices, the time and the joy doing it all.

♥

Christmas 2014 won't be the same.

We will miss you Mãe.

♥

Saying Goodbye to Vóvó

They were there 2 days before their Mom's birthday on Labor Day Sept 1, 2014 , not far from their great grandmother. In the garden of Home Hospice Care of RI. Aware of what was happening, yet from a distance, they in their own way, said goodbye to Vóvó. They drew hearts on stones with Vóvó's name and dropped them in the memory river of stones located in that amazing and so peaceful building of HHCRI. We love you and will always miss you, EJ Sydney and Justin said.
                                                 I am sure she felt their presence.

Mother's favorite flowers, geraniums.

♥♥♥♥

This Baby Boomer has Retired!

                                         “RETIREMENT - now life begins." 

                                              Is this you?

                                                                   
Embarking on a new journey as many others have done, and many others will follow in the future. This brings various inner feelings within the emotional, scary, happy and unknown roller coaster. No matter how long preparation took, when the day finally comes, it is still very surreal!

                                              So, who exactly is a baby boomer? 

Baby boomer is a descriptive term for a person who was born between 1946 and 1964. The baby boomer generation makes up a substantial portion of the world's population, especially in developed nations: it represents nearly 20% of the American public.

                                                                                 Well, this is me in my prime time years working hard in the accounting field and in the banking industry. A long journey that lasted a few stressful years and many other joyful days, with great people, great managers, great learning and acquiring amazing overall skills that led me to other fun and successful positions.

Fleet Bank where I worked for 12 years in various positions, some at Dupont Drive, others in downtown Providence. Met very interesting people, originating from different cultural and ethnic backgrounds. Learned a lot from them, quite a fun experience, that brought me to where I am today.

Take your daughter or son to "Work Day" at Fleet Bank was an annual event. Since my daughter was over the age limit, they allowed me to take my niece Sarah, who was 14 at the time, and she had a great day and fun experience. Today, she is a Mom and wife, and still remembers that day well.

Fun times with co-workers outside work.
Lunch at CAV Restaurant, courtesy of 92 WPROfm morning radio show contest.

While today, January 4th, 2018 our US state of Rhode Island is going through a major snow storm, which they are calling Grayson, a bomb cyclone type of storm with high winds, and many schools and companies are closed, I am here blogging and compiling certain passages of my work life journey to share with family and friends. Some of you may relate to this, as you also are following the same life path. Much happiness to you all!

Providence, RI
on 
01/04/2018


Where I worked for a few years downtown, and endured some harsh winter days like today, commuting back and forth, taking RIPTA buses.
How did I survive?

Using social media to announce a new milestone as you leave a life journey to embark into another.

I chose Facebook and here is my post, to which I am getting lots of positive feedback, comments, greetings and fun personal stories of former co-workers, of how we met, where we worked, and how they remember me. A very emotional but wonderful way to look back!

Thank you all! 

And these are my daughter's greetings on facebook. She has been my main supporter since she was a little girl and to whom I apologize for having to endure with me this crazy, long ride and not always be present.

She is now a Mom herself and following her own journey with 3 children along the ride.

Thank you Paula!

My last day at CVS Health consisted of a nice department gathering with good teammates and friends.

Thank you for the card, cake and presents.

Still so surreal my time has come!

Just the other day I was 30 years old and having cake for fellow retirees.

Time flies.

Thank you to all my co-workers at CVS Health 

from the Finance Center in Bank Accounting.

Will miss you all!

Workplaces are like your Home when you are working away from your Home.  Co-Workers are like Family when you are working away from your Family.

And this journey could last decades from the time you graduate from school until the time you decide to retire. Many changes take place during this journey. Many decisions are made to make changes. Work relationships among co-workers have changed greatly through the years, as times have changed. 

In the past, the same people could work together for years and years. 
They would work in the same place for 30 years or so. 

Today, as technology immersed and progressed, companies with standard office positions became more versatile, more open to expand, offering more educational tools and resources, bringing more opportunities for employees to gain skills and so they can succeed and develop within their business area in the company.

Choices to move on became multiple and education offers ready to be pursued.

I have used this office phone with switchboard capabilities.

Some companies allow you to bring your dog to work. 

I worked shortly for a company in between bank merges that 

did just that. 

Internet Days 

Don't know whose office this is, but definitely a practice not allowed in a Finance office. Too relaxed.
 






I was very fortunate to constantly beat the job market. As banks merged with others, sold to others, layoffs happened, but somehow there was always another door being opened to me. Always looking for ways to acquire new skills can be rewarding.

These companies were my homes for some time, and they had a positive impact and played a significant and important role in my success of becoming a good member of our society, and provided great financial support for myself and my family. Fortunately I was always very happy in all of them, and enjoyed the work, as well meeting so many different people. 

B.B. Greenberg was the first company I worked for after graduating from 
Johnson & Wales University and where I learned those first overall office skills that you carry with you through all your career life stages. Like many companies in the 80's, they closed during hardship times, as others emerged ready to meet modern times' progress.

Hasbro, the toy company. Remember bringing home innovative toys for my daughter to test. This was and I believe still is, a perk employees have. 

And then in the 90's and for decades I chose banking to be my work industry. With so many banks merging at the time, opportunities started to arise. People getting laid off, others getting jobs. A trading game, typical for that industry. Banking was where I found my nest, my safe place, even during tough times. 

From 1990 through 2011.
Ups and downs.
Breaks in between.
Surviving many bank merges, others not so much.
Does this look familiar to you?
Is this your journey?
Some day, you will write about it. I want to read it!

However, those overall skills learned through the years, improved through the years, in all those amazing places from amazing people, carried me to the next chapter of my work life, and made me who and what I am today!

Working at Sovereign Bank came after working at Fleet Bank. They also had a "Take your daughter or son to Work Day." I took my oldest grandson Eric William Baxter Jr. He had fun. He is 16 years old today, a junior in high school, and hardly remembers that day. 
He was only 5.

And there I met nice girls, some with of whom I have shared other workplaces. From there as they were sold to the current bank Santander, I moved on to Bank of America, where I came in contact with many other former co-workers from previous places.

Celebrating a life event of a Sovereign Bank co-worker, Melissa's baby shower. With Jenn and Stacey.

And there is that awesome part-time job at Apex Stores, where you were supposed to work just for a little while, and ended up staying for 20 years, working in conjunction with your full time banking job, and loving it! Both definitely provided tremendous financial support and helped my daughter to obtain a great college education. How many people can say they loved to work so much and loving it at the same time? Feeling blessed.

Fond memories, especially at Christmastime. 
Excellent pay, selling mattresses on commission, on a part-time basis. 
Met awesome people, and some great customers.
Paid for just about everything, including my first house, college tuition, some great trips to Portugal.
Working hard pays off. With the bonus, of really loving where you work, and what you do! 

Time to Relax, Meditate, Travel, Family, Daughter, Grandkids. 

Sleep late, Watch morning shows, Late night shows. Go to the Mall, Movies. 

Adapt to a new life, and visit stores mid-morning and become one of those people browsing through the racks, and stop asking yourself like you did on your day off,  "Who are these people and why they are not working?" You know why now, you just became one of them!

Spending time with Grandkids. 
They are growing fast and soon they will rather be with friends.
They are starting their own journey.


EJ.                                                 Remember the 5 year old kid working at Sovereign Bank?

He is all grown up.

Sydney

                                                                                                                                    Justin

Other hobbies planned for this new stage of my life include writing, blogging, photo journals, some traveling, and learning how to go about life without a job. 

Enjoy all the days of my life ahead!

Thinking of my last 6 years at CVS Health, going through a department outsource in 2015, when I thought retirement was the alternative then, but immediately I was offered another position in another department where I have been until now! Not an easy decision to retire, almost did not!

Remembering the walks at lunchtime around the building in the Summer, and the gorgeous skies I encountered upon leaving the building after work. 

CVS Health! 

Where the skies have no limit and greet you at the end of your 

work day.

Thanks for providing healthy 6 years in preparation for retirement.

So long!

♥

Taking Eyesight for Granted

 Well... don't!

Don't ever take your eyesight for granted.

Always wear your eyeglasses or contact lenses as directed by your eye physician.

Nothing like seeing people or things exactly how they are, not blurry, distant or distorted.

Nothing like driving down the road, and see nature, sky, bright and colorful.

Well, sometimes, my eyes play tricks on me, and I stop seeing bright and clear.

It is a scary feeling, painful, depressing, and people around you have no idea of your inner feelings.

Depth perception becomes your worst enemy. You think you are at the location to place something on, and it falls right on the floor. It wasn't quite there. You hear people around you saying; Gee whiz, can't you see?

Well, not quite. And it is not because I am getting older.

People, please become more tolerant of your surroundings and the people you are talking to. 

You don't know what they may be going through!

Gee Whiz, got it?

Oh, and if you wave at me, or beep the horn when you see me, don't be surprised

if I don't respond. I may not have recognized you. 

Even while wearing these funky eyeglasses below.

Sorry! 

Send me an email or text or facebook inbox.

Tell me you saw me. I did not ignore you! 

I surely will see your cyber message without these.

One of my worst fears is to become blind someday.

I don't have the best eyesight since my childhood and I do seek medical advice all the time.

I love my Doctor. I follow his orders. My problem goes beyond cataract surgery.

My eye doctor and surgeon has been with me since very young. He is the best.

We are both getting older together and I don't know what I will do, if he retires.

Thanks to technology it is amazing what they can do today,
using laser surgery to correct vision and provide a better quality of life.

And I am blessed my eye doctor is a surgeon and highly qualified,
always looking for my best interest and in his own office.

When as a teenager I always thought I was the ugliest girl in school.

Couldn't see without eyeglasses, or even too well with them.

One needs to learn how to live the best way possible and never let the lazy eye problem impact the daily routine and just move on and accept what you see may not be the way others see it, but

that is the way you see it! And nothing else can be done! 

Just move on.

Sometimes you can see well, other times times you can't. 

Just remember your eye doctor is minutes away!

And regardless of how you see it and when you see it and where you see it, It is beautiful! At least you can see it!

One thing I can see very clearly is all the memories I have created along the time and saved in my mind. They were captured perhaps with weak eyes, but saved with strong Kodak lenses and in my heart.

You can see and do just about anything you set your mind to.

Use your imagination. 

Maybe that is why I like photography, hiding behind the lens, snap snap.

And hoping for the best shots.... creating a story for each one.

Occasionally I end up in my eye doctor's office with my head strapped in a belt.

He asks me not to move, and announces:

I am coming in. And he starts the magic!

I don't even ask what he is doing. I trust the man with my own eyes. 

This last time, he said my left eye was ill, it needed to be punished.
Always that lazy left eye.

Sneaky, Sneaky.

He left me in the room and showed up now and then to put eye drops in my eyes, To prepare.
And once he went in,
it felt like he was cutting threads inside my eye.

It was late on Friday, right before Labor Day Weekend. 

He said it was for my own good. 

OMG! 

I had a long Friday night, gradually seeing better.

I woke up on Saturday morning and I could see so much more.

Wait, I can see and polish my toe nails better. 

I can look in the mirror and pluck my eyebrows better. 

Wait, my face looked better when I could not see it! It looks old.

The hot Summer and humidity made it look not so good.

I can read the instructions on the back of the cake box. 

I can read magazines again and see the faces on TV of those actors and actresses playing 

awesome roles on my favorite telenovelas.

Can't wait to see what I can see at work on Tuesday!

My eye doctor will never leave me in pain.

And I will never cancel an eye appointment ever again.

I drove to Super Stop & Shop, and everything and  everyone looked brighter, smarter.

Until next time! When my eyes play that trick again!

Again, do not take your eyes for granted. 

See your doctor. Check them occasionally. 

They are the best passport to see the World!

If only my eyes had been checked before that trip last year.

I bet I could have seen much better....

But my eyes never tell me when they are about to become ill!

Maybe afraid to be punished by that amazing man.

However, my memories are very clear and will be

forever!

PS!
If your children are breaking things in the house,
don't just assume they are clumsy, bad or just too active.
Chances are they can't see too well.
Remember depth perception, the enemy.
Take them to a good eye doctor.
Don't ever punish the children!
Punish their eyes instead!

Eye Love,