~ Remembering When ~
~ I was the only character in the hidden corner ~
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| Posted on: 04/10/2003 on nostalgiastories.com |
| Posted by: izyferreira |
As a child, I always remember being the mystique type, the mischieveous, the one noone really knew well. And I grew up that way, as the introverted type, shy and always living the moment with a sight in the future, and a thought of the past, never really living the moment to its fullest, and appreciating what life is all about during that second. I never lived the moment as it should, and I never quiet learned well, the things which were being said to me as I never really was there to hear them. Physically I was everywhere, I was an active child they say, getting myself into trouble at times, and also being misunderstood by everyone. But mentally I was nowhere, as I well remember never doing what I was told, because I never knew that I was actually being ordered to do so, or to say something. My mind was always far away, as if there was a stronger power than myself pushing me to a deeper place, where noone else lived but me alone. I was the sole proprietor of that place, I was the main character where life was only one, and I was only one person. Many times I visited that place, many times I was the only one in that world, filled with more fantasies than realities, a place where I finally felt my identity, where I knew what to do and what to say, without being misunderstood. I still visit that place today, I still belong there, except today as an adult I have created a better world outside me, where I have accepted family and friends to nourish me and let me be part of theirs, and be happier. I finally can distinguish one from the other, and separate both in equal ways, and know that both can offer me equal satisfaction, both let me be who I am, where I am able to meet challenges of equal fortitude, where indeed I can identify myself to the child who I once was and the adult that I am today. My life has many extensions, which started back in that small hidden site called the past, with a web for one person, to the site where I live now, a more visible site called the present, to where I will go from here, to a real site called the future, and hopefully a much bigger and happier one.
I made lifetime friendships
Some friendships are very important in our lives, and play a definite role, which can make a strong impact in the way we act, and how they influence us for a long time. As I grew older and left the childhood behind, including minimizing the visits to my hidden place, where noone else lived but me alone, I started creating a more visible site, with a big web where friends were allowed, as well as my family. I have created a world of very valuable friends where everyone is welcomed to participate and share values never to be forgotten. Slowly, I started inviting a friend over my hidden corner, one at a time. There, I shared my secrets with them, and started opening up more, opening my heart, and my soul. Some became my best childhood friends, others my best critics. Some could not understand why that hidden corner was so important to me, where I felt so comfortable and sheltered. As the years flew by, from child to adolescent to adult, many hidden corners were left behind, and others were created in other places in replacement. But this time as an adult they are more visible, more open to whoever wants to share them with me. My friends are very welcome to join, my family as well. But sometimes, alone in the darkest moment of the night, I still feel the need to visit that childhood hidden corner, where I remember being the only character, where only memories are allowed, where only sounds of familiar thoughts play, and where feelings are touched by time, by years long gone, and visions of the most valuable members of the family and friends exist. Time to be alone, in conjuction with time to be accompanied by the best, play the best role in my life story. In today's society where everyone is so busy, time is so little, chances to be together is so minimal, one needs to stop and take time to reflect, and to appreciate all the good friendships made over time, and remember the things we learn from each other, whether the friend is the one we see on a frequent basis, the one we touch regularly, or the one who is in our minds and who also gives us so much in appreciation of good times and good memories. |
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