If I am not passing through, I am pacing! Yes, pacing back and forth is not the same thing as passing through, or is it? When I am in a new job, in a new place, in a new situation, my most common phrase is "I am just passing through". Yet, time goes by, pacing all along, and along life's demands and surprises I move! Living in a home located in a quiet area of a small city, in a small state of the union, life can be monotonous and meaningless. At least that is what we think, but not always the fact. Actually life in a big and noisy city, cosmopolitan and metropolitan, can be even more of a boredom. It depends on us, knowing how to enjoy life at our best and where we see it fit. At a certain age, we think we are limited to the things we can do, attain, reach and produce or construct. My city is quiet, if looking from the outside, yet I heard it is indeed very alive and historical. It wasn't given that nickname of "historical" for no reason. I am sure it has earned that title for things it has provided to its citizens and residents, with characteristics and traits of being a small city in a New England state.
It's not that my city is quiet, it's my life that is very quiet today. I don't look for the activities the city or even the state can offer and grab them with interest, enthusiastically and live every single one, becoming part of a society, that could bring joy, pride and fun to my simple life on certain occasions, when pacing back and forth takes over most of my time. Friends say "oh, you need a dog", "oh, you need a cat". Others say that I need to get out more often "oh, you need a man". But I did just that before, I did get out more often. What happened and why did the activity of pacing through air, took over those social nights at Borders, the bookstore cafe I so much enjoyed?
Spending hours there flipping and reading long and picturesque pages of those favorite magazines along with the same cup of coffee, never refilled with freshly brewed. Dreaming over every picture that I found appealing to my taste, like "Taste of Home", and anything in reference to Photo Journaling. Reading about the life of European Royal Families and the life of those belonging to American Presidents, while listening to soft cafe music. The trips to the Mall, checking every single store on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd floors? Letting the ladies at Macy's spray me with my favorite perfume, do makeup on my face, and finally stop at Lords & Ladys for a new hairdo. Feeling like the prettiest girl at the Mall. Smelling the candles at Yankee Candle and reading every greeting card at Hallmark. Touching every single handmade item sold at the Antique and Crafts store? Loving anything that was made at the Cape Cod, with a nautical design. There, I also would look for any magazine that had my birth year.
Then, I would go nowhere else, but home to a long and warm bath, using those lavender scent soaps and lotions I had just purchased, ruining the long hours of pampering at the Mall. One can blame the social medias that showed up in the last decade or so. The sitting at the computer for hours, experiencing a new pacing, and this one in a more virtual way. The hands stopped touching Cape Cod arts and crafts, flipping pages of books and magazines. The eyes stopped observing people sitting around you and asking " Excuse me, may I take this chair?" Pacing became the official name of my new lifestyle. I am no longer passing through the mall, smelling the strong coffee at Starbucks, through the bookstore, across the street for lunch. Last year, I didn't even smell new flowers at the Home Depot's Garden Center. Thank God for my grandchildren who keep me busy on certain weekends, who show me what exactly does pacing mean! And trust me, we are not talking about the same slow pacing that fills my life, but a much "faster lane" pacing!♥ They are definitely not just passing through my life at that time, but providing me with ways, feeding me with ideas and planning strategies, which I could use to start changing it all and soon. I have a project planned, whether or not it will be accomplished, it remains to be seen. I have started it already with one primary function which is exactly what I am doing now. My writing has also stopped for a long time. This blog will be a way to resume it and bring it alive. It could be the 1st step to go out there and take a class or 2 in Creative Writing. I had started a class before in Photo Journaling, but due to other super obligations, I had to stop its pursuit. Is it my age that is stopping me from pursuing other goals and dreams from a different perspective and pace? Or, am I still passing through? All I know, is that while pacing back and forth through my house this morning, with a cup of coffee in my hands, brought me here and here I am. It's good I ended up here, where inspiration created this blog post, but as my allergy cold gets better after a long work week of sneezing, nose dripping and somewhat sleepy, it's time to rejuvenate and go out again to meet my city! And other people's cities! When was it the last time I went to Boston by train? It used to be a "must do" in my list of "Things to Do" every Spring or Summer. Let's get this pacing scale in balance! It is in the slow mode, it needs to go a bit faster for more fun and exciting life. And, I am not talking about that exciting life I used to have traveling with a friend through Europe and South America. Or, the time I took my daughter to Portugal, along with my sister and her family. Although it is in my list, once the whole family is ready to do so at the same time. I am just trying to bring the basic things back of an already simple life that has taken the wrong turn in a long whirling running road, with no visible exits and no written signs, of it being passed through!♥
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